


Cody Claus

by JoeMerl



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Santa Claus, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst and Romance, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I love that there's a tag for that. I will raid it later., Inspired By The Santa Clause (Movies), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Total Drama World Tour, Romantic Friendship, Santa is Real, Santa's Elves, Santa's Workshop, Subbing for Santa, kind of.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeMerl/pseuds/JoeMerl
Summary: After accidentally putting Kris Kringle in traction, Cody is charged with delivering all the remaining presents in Canada. Fortunately, another accident lands him some help part-way through his run.
Relationships: Cody (Total Drama) & Gwen, Cody (Total Drama)/Gwen, Duncan/Gwen (Total Drama), Gwen & Gwen's Brother (Total Drama), but only kinda. Don't read if you're looking for that.
Kudos: 3





	1. The Santa Klutz

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net between December 12, 2010 and December 27, 2011. Good thing you guys won't have to deal with my schedule slip. Just my bad writing! ~~Seriously, I have half a mind to go and rewrite this whole thing, I could do so much better today.~~
> 
> Set after the events of _World Tour,_ possibly AU but you can probably make it fit with the later seasons if you try hard enough.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen and her brother Kevin find someone breaking into their house on Christmas Eve. 
> 
> Not the obvious candidate, but you're on the right track.

**_(Ottawa, Ontario)_ **

There was a soft thud within the fireplace, followed by a slight groan as the figure within climbed out, making his way into the room.

He checked the list in his hand again, tuttering to himself—my, what a lot of people to deliver to in just one apartment! Although he knew that most of these people probably didn't actually live here. Well, it was Christmas, the time for friends and family, after all...it made little real difference to him _where_ everybody was, as long as his lists were able to keep track of them all (and they were). He looked up and glanced around the large living room, quickly spotting the tree in the far corner, cookies and milk carefully placed on a table beside it. The man licked his lips, crossing the room—he hefted his bag over his shoulder, tiptoeing quietly to make sure he didn't wake anyone—

—and totally failed to spot the seventeen-year-old boy sleeping on the floor until he had stumbled over him, windmilling his arms wildly before crashing onto his face.

" _Aaaagggghhhh—!_ "

" _Agh!_ "

_BOOM!_

_Crack!_

" _AAAGGGHHH! MY LEG!_ "

Cody groaned, instantly awoken by the large ankle that was pressing down against his chest. He opened his eyes and quickly slid out from under the huge man, jumping to his feet as the figure curled up into a ball, grabbing his leg and moaning in agony.

"What the—" Cody stared down at the man for a moment, first looking confused before his eyes went wide as saucers.

" _...Santa?_ "

* * *

_**(A small town near Toronto, Ontario)** _

Gwen was lying in bed, unable to sleep, and surprisingly it _wasn't_ because she was excited about Christmas the next day.

She groaned, throwing her covers off of her head to glance at her alarm clock again. 11:56 PM. She cursed; dang it, how was she supposed to get up ridiculously early the next morning if she couldn't even get to sleep now?! Christmas was the one day each year when she was willing to wake up before dawn like a ridiculous little kid, and it was the _last_ day she wanted to spend grumpy and tired. She wanted to have a _nice_ holiday with Mom, and Kevin, and Duncan...

...who wasn't going to be there...

She let out another groan—more like a growl, really—as she threw the covers over her head again and curled up into an angry ball, another jolt of adrenaline coursing through her body.

Christmastime was Gwen's favorite part of the year. Some of her family even liked to joke (in an annoying sort of way) that December was the one month when you could always find Gwen acting happy instead of her "normal, grumpy self." She couldn't say that she enjoyed the long lines or the huge dent this season always made in her wallet, but it was true: if she got her shopping done early and people didn't go out of their way to annoy her (mostly by telling that joke), she was liable to spend the last half of the month happily enjoying the festivities and wasting time with her friends and brother in front of the TV, laughing at all the ridiculously clichéd specials and tearing up during _The Grinch_ (shut up, you know you do it too).

Duncan, it turned out, was just the opposite. Instead the holidays seemed to turn _him_ into nothing but a massive Scrooge.

The thing was, Gwen could sympathize—while Christmas was an exception for her, in general she and Duncan had similar reactions to people acting all ridiculously, phonily happy, so she could understand why his phone calls were getting increasingly grumpy as the season wore on. She spent a lot of time trying to cheer him up—and, when he went off on a rant one day about how both his older brothers were both coming home this year (one with a wife and kids in tow) and how crowded the house was going to be, Gwen invited him to stay with them instead. And it had seemed like such a _perfect_ idea—Gwen's mom had agreed to it despite being obviously wary, Duncan's parents had agreed to it even though his mom didn't like the idea of him being away during the holidays, and even Gwen's brother had avoided ranting about it much more than she had expected (though when their mom mentioned him and Duncan sharing a room, he had angrily informed Gwen that this counted as her Christmas present for the next "twenty years to life"). She had really been looking forward to spending her favorite time of the year with Duncan, and hopefully making it a little better for him as well.

She still couldn't recall exactly how the fight had gone down. He had just been ranting on the phone, as usual...he had mentioned something about an extra aunt coming to his house or something, and she had just reminded him that he would be with her much-smaller family for the holiday, and then _he_ said something about not wanting to drive across three provinces for such a stupid holiday anyway...Gwen had taken offense to that, of course (granted, she wanted Duncan to come, but the offer had been to help _him_ ), and then it had just sort of exploded from there, until Duncan had angrily screamed that he wasn't coming and she had said that the invitation had expired anyway, and the two had slammed down the phone and poof, Gwen's whole build-up to the big day was totally ruined.

It was so stupid that they had fought.

And it was so stupid that she actually wanted him there.

And it was especially stupid that she was so wrapped up in this mental debate that she couldn't even _get to sleep!_

Gwen turned over again, glancing at the clock just as it hit 12:00 AM. Ugh. It was officially Christmas already. Man, she was either gonna sleep in or be tired all day, and either way—

She heard a noise, a loud _BUMP!,_ coming from the living room.

Gwen froze, her ears perking up. For a moment her limbs stiffened in surprise—then relaxed, as the obvious solution came to her: Mom was setting presents out. She rolled her eyes before closing them again. Of course. Yet another sign she should be asleep already...Mom always made a big deal of ushering them into bed early on Christmas Eve so that "Santa could come," even going so far as to shut _herself_ in her bedroom early...another dumb family ritual, even Kevin was old enough to have figured out the whole "Santa" thing years ago, but she just kept pretending that it was someone other than her who was up past midnight on Christmas Eve, setting up the amazing display of bright boxes and packages—

_BANG!_

_" **YOW!**_ "

Gwen sat up instantly, eyes going wide as she heard the scream.

That voice was definitely male. And it didn't really sound like Kevin's, either.

Gwen hesitated for just a second, then jumped out of bed, kicking at the floor to find her slippers before quietly slipping out of her room.

The first thing Gwen noticed when she glanced down the hallway was her brother standing by the threshold, looking into the living room. She breathed a sigh of relief—until she realized that he was holding a baseball bat and had pressed his body against the wall. Oh crap.

"Kevin?" she whispered.

He jumped and spun around, raising the bat—then breathed a sigh when he saw her. She scuttled over behind him, trying to peer over his shoulder. "What's going on?" she hissed.

"I don't know. There's some _guy_ in our living room."

"What kind of guy?!"

"The fat and jolly kind!"

"What?!"

He motioned into the next room, and Gwen glanced around him, trying to see...then her jaw dropped when she saw the figure, in full red-and-white Santa regalia, hopping on one foot with his back to them.

"What the..."

The two siblings watched as "Santa" gingerly put his foot back on the floor; for some reason he was missing the prerequisite big black boots, and instead wore a pair of slippers shaped like Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer (though the nose seemed to have burnt out). A big black bag was spilling packages onto the floor beside him, and apparently, "Santa" had dropped one onto his foot; they watched as he picked it up from the ground, then placed it under the tree, muttering indistinctly.

Gwen turned to Kevin. "Okay, who is that?!"

"Like I know?! Why do you think I'm hiding over here with a baseball bat?!"

"You don't think it's Mom, do you?"

" _Mom?_ Gwen, even _she's_ not that nutty! ...I think. And besides, didn't you hear him yell? That's definitely a dude in there."

"Well..." Gwen peered at the man again, who was now bent over by the tree, pulling more presents out of the large black sack. His back was still toward them, but he was right, it definitely wasn't their mother—the guy was too short, for one. "...Maybe it's someone she hired?"

" _Hired?_ "

"Yeah, like—I don't know, a fake? In case we wake up and she wants to take this whole 'Santa' charade way, _way_ too far?"

"Okay, you're really reaching here."

"Well, who do you think it is?!"

"Honestly? _I_ think it's that stupid boyfriend of yours."

" _Duncan?_ Why the heck would you think it's him?!"

"Well, he's used to breaking into people's houses, isn't he?!"

" _Ugh_ —that's stupid, Kevin! Or at least...I think it is." Gwen thought for a moment—actually, that _did_ make some sense. Duncan sort of had a thing for ridiculous stunts of questionable legality—heck, she'd had to tell him off before for trying to shoplift her presents, so she could kind of see "reverse burglary" as the sort of weird romantic gesture he'd try. Maybe he was sorry about their fight...

"I hope it's him," Kevin muttered.

Gwen blinked, broken out of her thoughts. "Really?"

"Yeah! I'd _love_ a good excuse for hitting him upside the head with this baseball bat."

" _Ugh!_ " She gave him a push on the shoulder—he hit the wall and pushed back, though not as hard.

The Santa figure paused as if he heard them; both siblings froze, breath caught in each throat. "Santa" listened for a moment, then went back to work, putting more stuff under the tree, shuffling on his knees to find more spots. He began to hum softly to himself, his notes stuttering nervously.

Humming? "That's not Duncan," Gwen said, shaking her head sadly. Then she blinked, turning to him. "Maybe it's Dad."

" _Dad?!_ "

"Yeah! Remember, he did the whole 'dress up as Santa in the morning' thing once?"

"Gwen, we haven't seen Dad in, like, _nine_ years!"

"Well, _you_ come up with a better explanation!" she said, throwing up her hands.

"...Well, if it _is_ Dad, I'm still hitting him with the baseball bat."

"Well, then go do it, then!"

"Huh?" Kevin suddenly blanched. "No way, _you_ go do it!"

"Oh, what happened to Mr. Baseball Bat, huh?!"

"Mr. Baseball Bat is only fifteen, he's too young to die! You kicked a serial killer in the jaw once, you can't handle jolly old St. Nick?!"

"Well, you're the man of the house!"

"Oh, so when I try to veto your boyfriends you get all feminist, but when there are cockroaches or axe murderers around, suddenly we're back to the 1950's?!"

He made a face, but then turned around and hefted the baseball bat again, annoyingly aware that Gwen had said _just_ the right thing to guilt-trip his overly-protective tendencies. "Well, you at least come with me," he grumbled. "I'll need that high kick of yours to keep this guy busy after he, you know, _stabs your baby brother in the chest_ or something."

"Fine, whatever!"

The two crept around the corner, walking as quietly as they could toward the Santa figure. Gwen was shaking fearfully as they approached—but then, all "Santa" seemed to be doing was putting out presents. Not that that necessarily meant he _wasn't_ some sort of deranged psychopath plotting to kill them...when they were just a few steps behind him Kevin and Gwen exchanged looks, silently asking each other just what they should do—

—when "Santa" suddenly stood from his kneeling pose, turned around and jumped in surprise at their presence.

" _Agh!_ "

" _AAAGGGHHH!_ "

The siblings screamed, and out of sheer instinct Kevin raised the baseball bat and slammed it down on the mysterious figure's head. "Santa" let out another cry of pain as he fell onto one knee, his hat falling off onto the floor. He gasped, hands on his head as he chanted " _Ow ow ow ow ow—_ "

Gwen blinked several times in rapid succession as Kevin dropped his jaw, flabbergasted. "What the— _Cody?!_ "

"Gah— _Gwen?!_ " He shakily rose, stumbling backwards until his heels bumped into the presents he had just deposited under the tree. "Wha—what are you going here?!"

" _This is my house!_ What the heck are _you_ doing here?!"

"I, uh— _your_ house?—um—" His eyes darted every which way, as though hoping to find an answer somewhere in the present-filled living room. "I, um—j-just—gah, why did I forget the stupid Destirring button?!—duh, gah—"

" _Answer the freaking question!_ " Kevin snapped _._ Now that he was at least moderately sure they weren't in danger his patience had broken, and the fact that he primarily knew Cody as "that weird guy who stalks my sister" wasn't really coloring this situation in a sympathetic light for him. He raised the baseball bat again, making Cody stumble further backwards and trip, squashing a present under his red velvet backside as he fearfully held up his hands.

" _It's not my fault!_ " he screamed, and Gwen winced, eyes instantly darting towards her mother's bedroom before returning to her terrified former teammate. "I didn't— _Santa drafted me!_ "

" _What?!_ "

"I just—sleeping! I was—sleeping on the floor, in the living room, my, my _grandmother's_ living room, in her condo—there were only two guestrooms, and between my parents and aunt and uncle and cousins _somebody_ had to sleep out there, and then—he tripped over me, and broke his ankle, and—"

" _Who?! Who tripped?!_ "

" _Santa!_ And then a bunch of elves showed up—"

" _Elves?!_ Cody, we're being seri—"

"—and they took Santa away, and—they said they'd get other people to deliver the presents, but there weren't _enough_ , so they said _I_ had to do the rest of Canada, and—I've already been at this for hours and I'm not even out of Ontario yet, and I keep forgetting to use the Destirring thing to make sure everybody's asleep, and— _dogs_ attacked me—" He pulled up his pants leg, which was tattered at the end "and I don't know what I'm doing, and I am _sick_ of cookies and milk at this point, if I eat one more I'm going to _barf,_ and—"

He suddenly went silent in the middle of his rant, eyes darting from one disbelieving sibling's face to the next. He blinked, and suddenly seemed to realize how insane he sounded. Kevin still had his baseball bat poised at the ready, and was weighing the question of whether or not to use it. Gwen looked utterly confused and utterly ticked off at the same time.

Cody just stared at them for a moment, then coughed, clearing his throat.

" _Um..._ and what I _mean_ by that is, uh...that...this...is a _dream! Woooooo!_ " He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers at them, slowly inching off of the present he was sitting on. "So, um...you two should just...go back to bed, uh—you know that they say, go to sleep and...the morning will come sooner...yeah, um...sugar plums and so forth...um... _goodbye!_ "

Without warning he shot forward—the two sibling jumped back in surprise as he grabbed his Santa hat from the floor, then suddenly darted to his feet, making for the unlit fireplace. Without thinking Gwen and Kevin both shot after him—they caught up just as he looked like he was about to shove his head in, quickly stabbing his finger beside his nose and giving a curt nod.

"Get back here—"

"Stop—"

Gwen dove for Cody and grabbed onto the woolly white cuff of his costume—Kevin managed to grab his tattered ankle—

—and then, before either sibling knew what was happening, all three of their bodies seemed to melt, bones dissolving, and some invisible force was suddenly pulling them towards the hearth.

"What the—"

" _AGH!_ "

In less than two seconds the three had been sucked into the fireplace, leaving the room empty except for presents, decorations and an uneaten tray of cookies and milk.


	2. Up on the Rooftops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody explains the improbable plot of this story.

" _AAAGGGHHH!_ "

" _AAAGGGHHH!_ "

Gwen couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything but her and her companions' screams as she was seized by the terrifying sucking sensation. It reminded her of going down the slide at the water park, but with an unnatural reversal—she flew straight upwards by her hold on Cody's arm, her body slamming roughly into him, Kevin and the sides of the chimney, her claustrophobia _screaming_ in horror at the tiny, crowded tunnel—

—and then quite suddenly there was space, air, freezing but oh-so-glorious air, and Gwen's body slammed down into the snow, her fingers still tight on Cody's arm. Instantly she released him and drew away in surprise—Kevin, meanwhile, lifted up his head and grumbled, "Could you get your foot off of my face, please?"

"Huh? Oh—"

Gwen shifted off of him as Cody clambered shakily to his feet, stumbling backwards as foggy gasps escaped his throat. He looked down at the others in surprise, face growing paler.

"Whoa...um, that wasn't supposed to happen..."

"W-wasn't sup-posed to— _wh-where the h-heck are w-we?!_ " Kevin screamed, wrapping his arms around himself as he and Gwen climbed to their feet, teeth chattering. "Is th-this—are w-we on the _r-roof?!_ "

"Um...kind of," Cody said sheepishly, as Gwen looked around, eyes widening as she took in the inclined roof and the chimney a few feet away. Her eyes went even wider as she looked past Cody and saw what was behind him.

"Oh, _p-_ _please_ tell me that's _n-not_ what I think it is."

"Huh?" Cody followed her gaze to the bright red sleigh behind him, as large as a small car, complete with a single reindeer hitched up to the front. Kevin's jaw dropped. "...Oh. _That._ Yeah..."

"How—h-how did you get a freaking _d-deer_ up on our _r-roof?!_ " Kevin screamed, so loud that both Cody and Gwen winced.

"I—you know— _flew_ it," Cody said, grinning nervously. "He's Prancer, by the way," he added, having nothing else to say in response to Gwen and Kevin's dumbfounded expressions.

"You flew—Cody, w-we're being s-serious here!"

"So am I!" he said, holding up his hands and taking a step back. (Fortunately, Kevin had dropped the baseball bat during their trip up the fireplace.) "I'm serious, guys, Santa and his elves shanghaied me! I've been delivering toys all over the province for _hours_ now—how _else_ do you think I managed to fly up your chimney?"

"So what, you p-put on a r-red s-s-suit and now y-you're freakin' P-Peter Pan?!"

"Um...yeah, kind of. Oh, come on!" he said, suddenly exasperated at their disbelieving expressions. "We saw aliens in Roswell, and somehow Santa Claus seems so implausible?!"

"I s-still refuse to b-believe those were r-real."

"They _w-were_ real, Kevin!" Gwen snapped, her annoyed glanced shifting from Cody to him. Cody got the feeling they had had this conversation before (he could relate, having long wished he had managed to save some of his alien clone's ectoplasmic goo).

"W-Were not!"

"Yes they—l-look, whatever!" she snapped, turning back to Cody. "H-However you g-got us up h-here—h-how do we g-get back d-down?!"

"Yeah, I'm n-not going down that ch-chimney again! People can't even r-really do that, I s-saw it on _Hoax-s-s-mashers._ "

"You're right—the elves told me you can't go down the chimney without...well, you know. 'Christmas magic,'" Cody said, striding back to the chimney and glancing back down it. " _Um..._ hmm, will it _let_ me go back down a second time? I guess there's no reason I can't..."

"No, no way, I'm _n-not_ d-doing that again!" Gwen snapped, her phobia rearing inside her like a sudden tidal wave. "So you n-need to f-find us a-another w-way down—p-preferably before we _f-freeze to death!_ "

Cody turned, giving the siblings a concerned look— _he_ was cold in his thick woolen coat, the snow soaking through his Rudolph slippers, while Gwen and her brother were both shivering violently in their pajamas—Gwen's brother didn't even have long sleeves or socks on. Cody looked around for a moment, biting his lip. "Wait—the sack!"

" _Wh-what?!_ "

"The sack! Er—crud, I think I left it down in your house. But there are more over in the sleigh." He ran across the roof, his slippers crunching in the snow—Gwen and Kevin followed him, exchanging a wary look. "Each of the bags are filled with, like, _endless_ presents—it doesn't matter how many you pull out, they're always full. I'm sure there'll be some jackets or something in there that you guys can use..."

He climbed into the back of the sleigh and began to open one of the half-dozen bulky black sacks. Kevin growled, but then began to climb in after him. "A-Anything for s-some w-warm clothes," he muttered, not noticing as Prancer the reindeer turned his head around to raise an eyebrow at them.

"Yeah..."

Gwen climbed in after Kevin as Cody rummaged through a sack—and suddenly Prancer turned around again, breaking into a run.

"Found i— _AGH!_ " Cody screamed.

" _AAAGGGHHH!_ "

Gwen nearly fell off the back as the sleigh shot forward—Kevin reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back in just as Prancer suddenly galloped _upwards,_ hooves landing on the air as easily as if there was an invisible staircase for him to stand on. He leapt a step higher, the sleigh leaving the ground at a 45-degree angle—the _pro tempore_ Santa and his two guests were all thrown backwards, slamming into each other and the sacks all around them.

" _Agh! What's happening?_ "

" _The reindeer took off!_ "

" _Well, stop it!_ "

" _Gah! Prancer, STOP! CEASE! DESIST!_ "

As quickly as he could Cody un-entangled himself from the others and crawled to the front of the sleigh, climbing into the driver's seat and grabbing the reins—brother and sister were thrown around again as Cody battled for control, screaming futile commands. Boxes, dolls and pieces of candy fell out of the bags—Kevin let out an angry yelp as a basketball hit him on the head, bouncing off and disappearing over the side of the sleigh.

"What the—"

The wild sleigh suddenly leveled off and stopped shaking just as the siblings managed to pull pull away from each other and grab the sides for support. "There, I think I got control of him!" Cody yelled back, followed by " _Bad_ Prancer! That's a _bad_ reindeer, got it?! Next house that gives out carrot sticks, _you_ don't get any!"

Kevin looked over the side; his eyes widened, face turning green. "Oh my...w-we're actually f-f-flying, aren't w-we?!" he moaned, watching the streets of their neighborhood fly by twenty feet below.

"C-Cody, turn this thing ar-round!" Gwen yelled—the houses were flying by under them, and looking back Gwen couldn't even tell if her and Kevin's home was still in sight.

"I—I'm not sure how!"

" _Wh-What do you mean, you d-don't kn-know how?!_ "

"Well, the elves said the reindeer know the route, I don't know how to _control_ him—Prancer! _Prancer!_ Go—back to Gwen's house! _Gah,_ listen to me!"

It was no use; Cody pulled the reins randomly, but Prancer didn't even seem to notice. Gwen looked back, moaning as they seemed to be leaving their neighborhood, flying over the street...

She suddenly heard a retching sound; she turned to see Kevin slumped over the side again, his body heaving and shaking. Eyes widening she quickly crawled over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and patting him gently on the back.

"You okay?"

He responded by shaking his head and throwing himself back into the sleigh, holding his stomach and moaning in pain. Cody noticed from the front and gave half a glance back from his struggles with the reindeer.

"Is everything okay back there?!"

"Well, except that Kevin just barfed up all over Bauer Road, yeah, peachy."

"And I'm st-still _f-f-freezing!_ " Kevin added, rubbing his hands over his bare arms.

"Well, just—look in the bags, there should be something in there!"

"Like wh-what?!"

"I dunno, just look!"

Kevin moaned again and curled up into a shivering ball on the floor while Gwen shuffled over to the nearest bag, reaching randomly inside. Her sour look turned to surprise when she pulled out the first large, lumpy package her hand touched and saw the large tag that read _To: Kevin From: Santa_. For a moment she just stared, then reached in to take out another one— _To: Gwen..._

"Wh-What the..." She ripped her package open; inside was a thick, dark blue jacket that looked almost black in the dim light. "Oh—here, Kevin, c-catch!" she yelled, throwing him his gift before pulling the coat on.

"Wha— _'To Kevin'..._ oh, a jacket! Th-Thank you, G-God!"

"And h-here's another one with your name!"

" _Oh,_ I've _n-never_ been so h-happy to get _socks_ b-before!"

Gwen heard a slight chuckle as she wrapped a large scarf around her neck. Cody had half-turned in his seat, watching them and grinning slightly. His arms were still held out with the reins in hand, but they were no longer moving. Gwen scowled.

"Is our near-hypothermia really that am-musing?" she asked, rolling her eyes as Kevin gleefully found a holly-patterned afghan and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"No, it's just—I don't know, it just sort of reminds me of my little cousins on Christmas morning." He turned back around. "Except they don't get so happy when they open clothes," he added teasingly, the moonlight illuminating his gap-toothed grin.

"Yeah, well—"

The sleigh suddenly lurched downward; Gwen grabbed the side again, eyes wide. " _Whoa_ —"

"I think I'm gonna be sick agaiiiin—" Kevin moaned, covering the afghan over his head.

They hit something solid and ran for a few more feet, then came to a stop. Gwen blinked and looked up; they were on a snow-covered incline, a chimney, different from their own, a few feet away.

"Where are we?" Kevin asked cautiously, uncovering his head.

"Honestly? I think it's the Argyles' roof."

"Argyles?" Cody took out a collection of papers, frowning. "...Nope, according to this, this is the home of 'Terrance, Celine and Sally Stoot.'"

"Okay, you know what, that wasn't meant to be literal!" Gwen snapped, climbing to her feet.

"The Stoots? Who are the Stoots? We're not even in our neighborhood, are we?!"

"Er, I don't think so," Cody said sheepishly, scratching the back of his Santa hat. "I guess you guys were my last stop over there."

"Well, you gotta—fly us home or something!"

"I told you, I can't! The stupid reindeer won't listen to a word I say!" Cody said, gesturing to it.

Prancer turned, snorting in annoyance. Gwen ignored it and glared at Cody.

"Well, how are we supposed to get home then?!"

"I dunno! I mean..." Cody paused, tapping his chin for a moment. "Okay...what if you come down into the house with me, and then go out the front door and walk home?"

"We can't _walk_ home!" Kevin screamed. "It's freezing! Plus it's, like—what time is it?!"

"Uh, midnight."

"Later than that, it was midnight when I first heard you in our living room."

"No, uh—it's _still_ midnight. Always." They stared. Cody sighed and threw up his hands. "It's what the elf said, okay? There's some weird... _time_ thing involved—it's midnight wherever I go. I'm, like...'outside of time' or something."

"So you, what? _Stopped time_ or something?" Kevin had to admit that snarking at this point seemed sort of pointless, but at the moment his stomach was still unsettled from him throwing up in a flying sleigh, so he was a bit desperate for _something_ that he could cynically disbelieve in.

"I...guess. Maybe. But it's not, like...people frozen, or something. It affects the whole house, I guess. That's why you two were able to hear me and— _agh,_ can't forget!"

Cody suddenly pulled something out form the seat beside him—it looked like some sort of large, bulky remote control with an antennae. Climbing out of the sleigh, Cody walked towards Gwen and Kevin, fiddling with it for a moment, tongue stuck out slightly in concentration. "Let's see...there we go..."

He pressed a large button, pointing the antennae at the roof beneath their feet—suddenly the whole building began to glow a sparkling red, then green and gold. Gwen and Kevin both jumped as though afraid the light was radioactive.

"What the heck was that?!" Kevin shouted as the glow died away, putting his toe gingerly back on the roof.

"The Destirinator. Makes sure everybody inside is asleep. I keep forgetting to use it..."

"The De- _stir_ -inator?"

"Yeah. You know..." He smirked, winking. When the others just stared, he rolled his eyes. "As in, _'not a creature was stirring...'_ "

"What the—oh my _gosh..._ "

As Gwen looked away and Kevin face-palmed, Cody shrank back, looking almost—what? Disappointed? His smile faded.

"Well, anyway...guess I better get back to work..."

He sulked over to the back of the sleigh, hauling out a bag. He seemed lost in thought for a moment, though neither sibling noticed as they pointedly avoided looking at him. Then he perked up, looking hopeful.

"...You guys coming?"

**" _NO!_ "**

Cody winced again. "Oh. Okay." He hefted his bag sullenly. "Be right back, then..."

He climbed up the inclined roof, kicking at the light snow. Pausing beside the chimney he looked back at Gwen and Kevin for a moment, then put his index finger beside his nose and nodded.

Instantly he sort of—dissolved—melted— _something_ like that, his body turning into wisps of color that flew around for a moment before flying down the chimney, his cry echoing up after him.

The siblings' defiantly sullen expressions gave way to wide eyes as this happened. They looked at each other.

"...Okay, just so we're clear—this is a _dream,_ right?"

"Definitely," Gwen said quickly, turning away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Edited out a line referencing a not-very-good fanfic that I'm not bringing over to this site.~~


	3. Down Through the Chimneys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody and Gwen bond. Various threats are issued.

_**(Toronto, Ontario)** _

Cody emerged back up the chimney a few minutes later—again as a bizarre dissolved mess that somehow resolidified before Gwen and Kevin's eyes—and again offered to take them through the house to get home. They turned him down, again. All three got back in the sleigh and Cody explained to Prancer, very clearly, that he needed to fly them back to their house, giving a detailed description and address to make sure the animal got the right idea.

Prancer didn't give a stirring mouse's butt, calmly flying them over to the house right next door. And the process repeated itself.

And it repeated itself again at the next house. And the next house. And the next house. And the next…

After about an hour—or two, or three, or four, because due to the monotony or Christmas magic or _whatever_ it was impossible for Gwen to keep track of how much outside-of-time was passing—they were in the middle of Toronto, flying from one apartment building to the next. Gwen watched as they landed and a chimney formed itself on top of the empty rooftop; she had seen that happen so many times already that it had pretty much lost its novelty.

Cody used the Destirinator from the front seat of the sleigh, then paused, his shoulders slumped, a hangdog expression on his face. He turned to Gwen and Kevin.

"So…wanna come with me on this one?"

It was the first time any of them had spoken in a long while, however much timeless time had passed. He had long since given up asking them if they wanted to take the "out the front door" option, as far away as they were from their house by now anyway. Gwen noticed he didn't even bring that up now, and that his voice was flat and tired; he wanted them to say yes, but he clearly didn't expect them to.

Both siblings shook their heads, not even looking up. Cody sighed, slumped in his seat again, and then slid out of the sleigh. Without a word he trudged to the back, pulled out the bag and disappeared down the chimney.

The siblings were looking away from each other silently. After about a minute, Kevin spoke.

"It's looking less and less likely that we're gonna wake up from this, isn't it?"

Gwen sighed, nodding. She turned, but her gaze went past her brother to the chimney a few feet away.

"We're a long way from home now," she muttered.

"For real." Gwen sensed he meant those words rather literally.

Silence fell again for the next several minutes.

"It's taking him a long time."

"It always takes him a long time."

"Especially in apartment buildings. I guess he goes down there and does every single apartment at once?"

"I guess."

Gwen paused, thinking about the way Cody had slumped off when he left.

"It must suck for him. You know, going down there, doing all that work."

Kevin scoffed. "It ain't exactly a party up here waiting, either."

Neither of them talked again until Cody emerged from the chimney fifteen minutes later. He staggered a bit as he walked; Gwen rose a little in her seat, frowning.

"You okay, Cody? You look a little pale."

" _Ugh…_ yeah," he said, grabbing the side of the sleigh to steady himself. "I sorta, er…got sick down there."

" _Sick?_ "

"I have eaten, quite possibly literally, _ten thousand_ cookies in the last couple of hours." Cody suddenly bent lower, moaning again. "Let's say I left more than crumbs at the last house. I hope nobody notices the stain on the rug…"

Kevin made a face. Gwen did too, but after a moment forced herself to pat Cody's arm. He smiled thankfully before straightening up and climbing back into the front seat.

Prancer flew another building over, and Cody gave yet another zap of the Destirinator before reaching out to grab his list. A familiar name caught his eye, making his eyebrows shoot up.

"Oh, hey…I think we're at Leshawna's place."

"Huh? !" Gwen said, shuffling over and looking over his shoulder. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think so. See, here, near the top—'Edwards, comma, Leshawna'…well, I guess we'll wind up at everybody we know's house eventually," he said wryly, rolling his eyes. "Well…unless they live east of here. Or are Jewish…"

Gwen was silent for a moment. "Hey, Cody? Could I, um…" Cody turned to her, which only made her feel more sheepish. "Can I come down with you, for this one?"

"You wanna come?" Cody's eyebrows shot up; so did Kevin's, though the reaction from him seems far less excited.

"Sort of."

"Well—um, uh, sure!" A huge smile crossed his face, only to fall a moment later. "But—you realize you won't actually get to _see_ Leshawna, right? You know, she'll be 'snuggled all tight in her bed' and everything?"

"Yeah, I know, but…" Gwen shrugged, unsure how to finish that statement. "I dunno. It'd just be…pretty cool, ya know? Helping set everything up for someone I actually know, or something."

"Okay, sure, then!" Gwen had to smile a little at Cody's enthusiasm—she got the feeling he must have been pretty lonely on all those trips down the chimney himself. She turned to Kevin, who was watching her with an odd look in his eye.

"You coming, Kev?"

"Er—no thanks. I'll stay up here," he said slowly, looking away.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Well...if you insist…"

Cody and Gwen climbed out of the sleigh, trekking over to the incongruous chimney. Gwen felt excited—and nervous. The trip down probably wasn't going to be fun. As for the actual job, she wasn't sure—

Her thought was suddenly cut off as Cody reached over and grabbed her hand. She jumped and pulled away from him.

"Hey!"

Cody blinked. "Huh? Um—Gwen, I sort of need to—you know, the Christmas magic thing won't really work for you?" he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his velvet hat.

"Wha…?" Gwen suddenly felt stupid _._ That made sense—after all, that was how she had managed to follow him _up_ the chimney in the first place. Embarrassed, she put her hand back down, allowing him to take it again. "Sorry."

"Not a problem," he said quickly. Gwen guessed that wasn't quite as true as he let on. "Anyway, you ready?"

"I guess." Her fingers unconsciously tightened around his, the claustrophobic memory of her last ride catching up.

"On the count of three, okay? One…two… _three!_ "

He quickly put the index finger of his free hand beside his nose and nodded. He and Gwen, still holding hands, dematerialized together and vanished down the chimney.

Back at the sleigh, Kevin grimaced as he watched them disappear.

* * *

The ride was actually less bumpy than Gwen expected, and only lasted a second—the next thing she knew she was standing in a living room she had seen several times before, this time with a Christmas tree in one corner and decorations on the mantle. Gwen blinked, breath caught in her throat.

"Huh… _wow._ It really worked," she said, surprised by her own surprise; maybe it was just the dissipating tension, but somehow she hadn't expected this to actually be real.

"Yeah. Heh…this whole thing is pretty amazing, isn't it?" Cody admitted.

"Yeah. Honestly, I'm still sort of wondering if any of it is even real or—"

She stopped when she saw Cody's face, and followed his gaze down to their hands, which were still clasped together between them. Gwen's eyes widened for a moment and she quickly withdrew hers, stuffing it into the pocket of her jacket. Cody laughed softly.

"Well, I didn't want to break us up until I was sure _you_ were done."

"Ha, ha." Gwen looked away, eyes settling on the tree. "So what do we do now, just put the stuff under the tree?"

"Tree and stockings, that's about it. And… _ugh, that._ "

He pointed with a shaking finger to the plate and glass sitting on Leshawna's coffee table. Gwen scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Tell you what—you start putting the teddy bears under the tree or whatever, I'll take care of the sweets, okay?"

"Heh, thanks. Ooh, make sure to leave some crumbs, though. And don't drink all the milk."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Gwen sat down on the couch and put the plate in her lap as Cody reached into his bag, first filling each of the stockings on the wall and then kneeling down beside the tree. There were already a few gifts arranged down there, presumably from Leshawna's family members to each other. Most of them were fairly average in size, though one with a different wrapping paper was half as tall as Cody himself. He paused to look at its tag, then chuckled; _To: Leshawna, From: Harold._ Of course...

Gwen bit into a cookie, purposefully trying to drop crumbs onto the plate. Oatmeal raison. Not her first choice, but good enough.

"So, what are Leshawna and her family getting this year?" Gwen asked, as Cody began to arrange packages with slow but practiced technique.

"Well, it's all wrapped, but let's see…hmm, this feels like a CD…a bunch of different boxes of clothes, wonderful—"

"Well keep in mind, us teenage girls actually _like_ clothes."

"Ha, I guess that's true…I always considered those dud gifts myself." Cody paused, cocking his head for a moment. "This is a pretty awesome job, isn't it?"

"Huh?" Gwen looked up from her last cookie,

"Well, I don't know. I mean, I can't really say I'm _enjoying_ breaking into millions of houses and having to set up all this stuff over and over again, but—well, like you said, it's sort of nice doing this, isn't it? I mean, in a couple of hours Leshawna will be here with her family, unwrapping this stuff and hopefully getting a big kick out of what we're leaving…and the crumbs," he added playfully, motioning to Gwen's empty plate. "I always got a big kick out of those."

She chuckled and smiled. "Yeah. Heck, I sort of wish I could be here to see it." She closed her eyes, trying to imagine. "I can just see Leshawna opening that new CD she wanted and dancing all around the room with it."

She began to imitate Leshawna's bad dancing from her seat on the couch. Cody laughed. Gwen did too—until her elbow accidentally bumped against the plate in her lap, sending it to crash loudly on the hardwood floor.

_SMASH!_

Cody winced so hard that his Santa hat slipped down to cover his face. Gwen closed her eyes, then slowly opened them to see the plate in pieces by her feet.

"Oh, _crap,_ " she said, standing up and stepping away from the broken glass. She looked around the dark room, sighing. "Well, at least that magic sleeping thing makes sure that we can't wake anybody up."

"Uh, actually, it just makes sure that nobody's awake _before_ we come down here. People can still wake up after we arrive."

"...Huh?"

That's when they heard the sound of a door open, followed by bare feet on hardwood coming toward them.

Both sets of eyes widened.

"Uh-oh—"

Gwen looked around and quickly dived behind the couch, a position that would protect her from view of someone approaching from the hallway. Cody, meanwhile, just looked around wildly, too panicked to come up with some sort of rational choice of where to hide—

" _Hey!_ Who's there? !"

" _Gah!_ "

Cody jumped as a short, stocky boy of about eleven or twelve stepped into the room, arms crossed over the cartoon character emblazoned on his pajama top. Cody turned pale, as the kid quirked an eyebrow. Gwen surreptitiously looked out from her hiding spot, eyes wide.

The kid just stared for a moment. Cody cleared his throat and smiled nervously.

"Um— _ho, ho, ho?_ " he said, in a deep, Santa-esque baritone that sounded just as ridiculous coming out of his mouth as it probably sounds inside of your head.

The boy's eyes swept Cody from his ridiculous Rudolph slippers to his Santa hat. He definitely recognized the outfit, but something about the five-foot, one-hundred pound clean-shaven boy wearing it was throwing him off a bit. "Who are you?" he asked. Something about his incredulous tone made it very easy for Cody to imagine that this kid was related to Leshawna; he half expected him to end that question by calling him "Short Stuff."

" _Who am I? Why, um_ _—_ _I'm Santa Claus, of course!_ " Cody said, gesturing enthusiastically to make up for how utterly stupid that sounded. " _And what's your name, little boy?_ "

The boy scoffed. "If you're Santa, shouldn't _you_ be able to tell me that?"

" _Wha_ _—_ _um, uh_ _—_ _well, it's, uh, a little hard to keep track_ _—_ _you know, billions of children and all_ _—_ "

" _Pssst!_ " Cody turned as Gwen motioned from her hiding place, mouthing something to him. He quickly turned back to the boy, eye still darting back to her.

" _Um_ _—_ Byron?"

"Tyrone."

"Close enough. I mean, um— _well, have you been a good boy this year, young man?_ "

"…Ain't you supposed to have a beard or something?"

" _Um_ _—_ _w-well, Mrs. Claus wanted me to shave, because_ _—_ "

"And ain't you supposed to be fatter?"

" _Yes, but_ _—_ _you know, diet and exercise_ _—_ _my doctor said that if I want to live_ another _five hundred years I gotta watch my heart_ _—_ "

"And don't I _know_ you from somewhere?"

A bead of sweat rolled down Cody's too-young, too-smooth face. " _Well_ _—_ _I'm Santa! You know, I_ _—_ _know everyone, so_ _—_ "

"No—ain't you that skinny white boy from one of the shows my sister was on? The geeky one with the stalker, the one her friend keeps shootin' down?"

Gwen groaned and covered her face with her hand. Cody's eyes widened, then narrowed as his lips pursed angrily and his cheeks began to heat up. His gaze wandered to the boy's pajama top. He nodded at the picture.

" _You like_ Kaichumon, _kid?_ "

Tyrone followed Cody's gaze to his shirt, then looked back up at his face. "Yeah…?"

" _Well, the new Ebony and Ivory versions came out this year. Did you ask for one of those, by any chance?_ "

"Yeah."

" _Hmm._ " Cody reached into his bag and pulled out a package, one that, sure enough, was just the right size and shape to have a video game inside. " _Well, Byron or Tyron or whatever your name is, if I were you I'd go and scurry back to bed, or Santa might get annoyed and chuck this out his sleigh somewhere over the ocean._ Get it?"

He shook the package threateningly (it made the exact right rustling noise for a Game Guy video cartridge, a sound any avid gamer could easily recognize). Tyrone narrowed his eyes and scowled, a mirror of Cody's own expression. For a moment the two only stared.

"…Alright, but if you're thieves trying to pull a _Home Alone_ on us, don't think I won't report you to the cops in the morning," he said, turning and walking back into his room. "Being famous just means you're easier to find."

His bedroom door closed. Silence fell over the living room.

Gwen stuck her head out from behind the couch. She made a slight choking noise, looked away for a moment _—_ and then began giggling behind her hand.

Cody turned to her, surprise wiping away the angry look on his face. "What?"

Gwen only kept giggling. After a moment, Cody couldn't help but giggle too.

The two were still smiling amusedly when they finished Leshawna's apartment and moved onto the next one.

* * *

Going up the chimney didn't take them to the roof, but rather, to the next apartment in the building, and the next after that and so on like an elevator with every button already pressed. It seemed to take forever to Gwen, but they passed through each of them without much incident, and the cookies and milk at least sweetened the deal a bit for her. They talked quietly as they set up each home, which helped to make the time go faster.

When they finally emerged onto the roof, they were laughing together, much to Kevin's displeasure.

"And so then my Aunt Ada was like, 'no, not like _that!_ '"

"Oh, man, is your grandma's hearing really _that_ bad?"

"Well, Grandma Jameson always was a bit nutty. Now, on my dad's side, we—"

" _Ahem,_ " Kevin said, interrupting their conversation. "How did it go?"

"What? Oh, fine," Gwen said, waving her hand. "It's actually pretty fun," she added, climbing into the sleigh beside him.

"Hmm. Really?"

"Yeah!" Cody said, grinning as he climbed back into his seat and took the reins.

They flew to their next location (the building across the street). Cody began to climb out. "So, either of you guys coming on this one?" he asked, voice unable to contain his hope and excitement.

"Yeah, I am," Gwen said, clambering out. Kevin watched her, lips pursed.

"...You know what? I am, too."

"Great!" Cody said, grinning back at him as the three of them marched across the snowy roof. "I think you'll really enjoy this more than waiting up here alone."

"Yeah, hopefully."

They stopped, lining up around the chimney. Cody held out his hand to Gwen; she started to take it, but suddenly Kevin's hand snatched it up first. Cody and Gwen both blinked in surprise as he smiled, gently pushing her out of the way and forcing himself between him. His grasp on Cody was painful as he gently took Gwen's hand in his other one.

"Heh-heh...let's do it _this_ way instead, okay?" he asked, falsely-sweet. It was a tone of voice that he usually reserved for when Duncan was around.

Cody nodded, looking slightly disturbed. Gwen just scowled and rolled her eyes.


	4. Won't Be Home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody and friends arrive at Duncan's house. It's not a jolly time for anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Jeez, tough crowd.~~

_**(Somewhere near the Ontario-Manitoba border)  
** _

The next few million deliveries passed in a blur of activity. The job seemed to go much faster now that the three of them were working together, and as the hours passed without changing they slowly made their way in a north-and-south wave, heading ever westward across the country. At times they were incredibly busy, like when they flew over cities and towns, but during long stretches of northern countryside they had time to just pause, talk and enjoy the scenery.

Cody was finally starting to enjoy himself—the work was still long and exhausting, but passing the time with Gwen (oh, and Kevin) couldn't help but make him grin like a little kid. Even as they went to home after home after home he never seemed to lose the energy and enthusiasm he had just from the two of them being together (er, three of them). They joked and teased and set up gifts and ate cookies (even Cody, eventually) and in the longer rides between houses had long, rambling conservations about nothing or sang Christmas songs at the top of their lungs.

...Well, that last one was mostly Cody, actually.

" _OHHH, you better watch out, you better not cry,/You better not pout, I'm telling you why—_ "

" _GAH,_ make him stop!"

" _Cody Claus is com-ing to TOOOWWWN!_ "

Cody threw back his head and extended one arm dramatically, keeping his other hand firmly on Prancer's reins. Gwen and Kevin, meanwhile, were grimacing, only now removing their hands from their ears.

"Man, it's like watching that stupid season all over again."

" _Pfft,_ try living it."

"Oh, come on, you guys!" Cody said, chuckling as he took the reins with both hands again. "It's Christmas! We're flying through the sky on Santa's sleigh! Doesn't that just make you want to sit back and belt out some holiday tunes?"

" _NO!_ " Kevin snapped, giving Cody a cold look. He looked away, pulling his jacket tighter around himself, then looked up again to mutter, "Why didn't you sing on the show if you like it so much?"

"Huh? !"

"The show! There were like, a dozen different episodes in a row where everybody else on your team sang and you didn't. What's with that, Mr. Rock Star?"

Cody looked sheepish as he turned in his seat to glance at Kevin, who crossed his arms and glared coldly. Gwen sighed to herself, rolling her eyes. Even though he had defrosted a _bit,_ Kevin seemed to find reasons to snap at Cody every couple of minutes. (Not that she could disagree about the singing, of course.) He never had been one to get over a bad mood very quickly.

A farm appeared below them; Prancer swooped down and landed lightly on the house's roof. Cody glanced at his list and jumped down from his seat with practiced ease, pressing the Destirinator and hefting his sack. "You guys coming?"

"Um, actually I think I'm gonna sit this one out," Gwen said, giving him an apologetic smile.

Cody blinked. "Oh. Okay." He gave his other companion an awkward look. "Kevin...?"

"Pass," he said, ignoring Cody to raise an eyebrow at his sister.

"Alright..."

Cody trudged across the snowy roof and vanished down the chimney. As soon as he was gone Gwen gave Kevin a light slap on his heavily-padded shoulder.

"Hey!" He swatted her away, grimacing. "What was that for?"

"Why are you giving Cody such a hard time?"

"Gwen _—_ did your ears freeze shut? _His singing is terrible,_ " Kevin said, switching to a loud whisper as if afraid Cody might hear him. "I mean, at first I thought the show's auto-tuning was a cop-out, but _—_ "

"I don't care how bad his singing is! And yeah, it _is_ bad. But that's not the point! The point is that you keep looking for any opportunity to snark at him! He's just trying to make the best out of a bad and, admittedly, _really_ surreal situation."

"Well, excuse me for making fun of your _boyfriend!_ "

"He's not my boyfriend! My boyfriend's the _other_ guy you're constantly ragging on," she added sarcastically.

"Yeah, for _now._ "

"What's that supposed to mean? !"

"Well, Gwen, it's not exactly a secret that Santa Klutz there wants to play reindeer games with you," Kevin sneered (ignoring Prancer as he cocked his head in confusion). "And you've already gone through _both_ of the other guys who liked you from that show. It's just a matter of time before he becomes the you to your Duncan."

"...What?"

"I mean...you know, you break up with Duncan, and...forget it. You know what? I'm your brother, I reserve the right to hate any guy who likes you, okay?"

Gwen rolled her eyes again. "So you're not even gonna start waiting for me to go out with a guy before you start giving him the Duncan treatment, is that it?"

"Pretty much." He paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Though actually, I would _prefer_ Dorkus to the Criminal. Stupid Guitar Guy, too. At least this one hasn't cheated on or with you yet. Though my first choice is still you dying alone."

"You're impossible."

Kevin shrugged, looking away pointedly.

The two remained in silence until Cody came back a moment later. "Hey guys. Have a good time without me?" he asked, still looking confused as he stared from one annoyed sibling to the other.

"Fine," Gwen muttered. For some reason she found it too awkward to meet his gaze now.

Cody smiled weakly and got back into the front of the sleigh. They took off again, passing over the snowy Ontario countryside. After a few moments Cody began to softly sing "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas."

Kevin groaned but, catching a look from Gwen, just put on a pair of thick earmuffs and pursed his lips tightly.

* * *

There were a _lot_ of houses, and every million people or so, they found somebody they knew.

Shortly after Leshawna's apartment they had come to the suburban town of Twig Harbor, where they had found Katie and Sadie having a sleepover together at the latter's house. Later they loaded sports supplies under Tyler's tree, filled Owen's stocking with candy and unloaded about a hundred pounds of books and video games at Noah's crowded abode. (Three of his siblings were home with their families.) Cody pointed and laughed as they passed over his own empty house, and in Winnipeg they found an oddly festive home that turned out to be Courtney's. Izzy they discovered in a Nunavut cave, cuddled up with some grizzly bears for some reason beyond any of their comprehension. Garlands and tinsel adorned all the stalactites and stalagmites.

Seeing their fellow contestants' homes sometimes struck up a conversation.

"So wait, Sierra really _is_ dating Justin now?" Gwen laughed. "I thought that was just a tabloid rumor!"

"No, it's true," Cody said, laughing along with her. "I think she's the only person who's ever loved him as much as he does! But really—I think they make a good couple. He actually _likes_ it when girls stalk him, so it kind of works out. She was really nice company on the Drama Brothers' last tour."

"Ah, yes, the _band,_ " Kevin muttered, rolling his eyes. Gwen shot him a warning look. He held up his hands sarcastically _._

"We were actually thinking of putting out another holiday album this year, but it didn't pan out," Cody continued, pulling the reins so that Prancer flew up to avoid some tall trees. "Did you ever hear that one?"

"Of course, you and Trent both sent me a copy last year. It was really—" Gwen paused, biting her lip. "Er, something."

Cody chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Not our best work, I admit." Kevin opened his mouth to say something, but Gwen kicked him in the leg. "Oh!" Cody cried, suddenly laughing. "Do you remember— _heh-heh—_ the song Harold got Leshawna to do back up on?"

Gwen covered her mouth, but couldn't hold back her chortles. "You mean the— _pfft—_ 'The Dreidel Rap?'"

" _Yo, in the year 165 C.E./There was a brutha named Judah the Maccabee—_ "

Cody and Gwen both burst out laughing. Kevin pursed his lips tighter, but after a minute the song was echoing in his head and he fell onto his hands and knees, giggling like a maniac.

* * *

They visited a few more million homes in Saskatchewan, including Heather and her siblings in Regina. After the obligatory jokes about coal they got into a vague discussion about what had happened to her after _World Tour,_ but none of them really knew anything except for some tabloid rumors.

"I'm almost positive she didn't really get back together with Alejandro, though," Cody said as they flew over the cityscape. "I visited the burn ward where he and Ezekiel were staying and he sounded really bitter about what happened during the last challenge."

"I'm not surprised."

"You know, I really do hate her, but it _was_ satisfying to see her nail that douche in the kiwis."

The three laughed; even Kevin was becoming friendlier now, toning his vitriol down to Gwen-level sarcasm. Cody grinned to himself, gazing down at the town below. "The view looks magical, doesn't it?" he breathed. "No wonder Santa's always so jolly!"

The siblings in the back rolled their eyes, but gazing down at the pristine snow and glowing houses they couldn't really argue the point.

On and on they went in their wavy path, about three-fourths of the way through the country now. The thought surprised Cody, and he wasn't quite sure whether he should feel relieved or depressed by it. Prancer flew down to another house, seemingly the same as all the others in this particular Saskie neighborhood. Cody gave his list a perfunctory glance. "Let's see here—the Stone family. Well, let's see wh—"

"Wait—the Stones?" Gwen asked, startled. She suddenly looked around, peering into the inky night. "Where are we?"

Cody blinked. "Um—I'm not sure. I think we're still in Saskatchewan, but we're probably close to Alberta...why, what's the matter?"

"I... _think_ this is Duncan's house."

Kevin groaned and began rubbing his eyes. Cody gave a sort of strangled gasp. He looked down at his list again, then frowned confusedly again.

"Are you sure? He's not on the list."

" _Pretty_ sure...let me see that."

Cody handed the parchment to Gwen, who skimmed through the eight or so names. "He's not here..." she murmured. "But I'm sure this is his house. _'Conrad Stone, Bradford Stone'..._ those are his older brothers' names, and I'm pretty sure he mentioned an aunt named Dorian coming. But why isn't he...?"

She looked up and gave Cody a questioning look; he shrugged helplessly. "I...don't have any idea. Maybe it's just a coincidence?"

"None of those names are particularly common," Kevin pointed out.

The three were silent for a moment. Duncan had never come up during their happy conversations between houses; all their good moods were suddenly quashed, for different reasons. Kevin glared down at the rooftop hatefully, imagining that jackass sleeping under his feet. Cody suddenly felt awkward, looking away from Gwen as he remembered that for all the fun they had been having together, she had chosen someone else over him—twice, in fact, and most recently someone he hated almost as much as Kevin did.

And Gwen...wasn't really sure what to think. She thought back to their fight, but more to all the good times they had together before that fight. She wasn't even totally sure if the two of them were still together. She stared back down at the list, which seemed just as unsure as she was. Why wasn't his name on here? This had to be the right house, so why were all of his relatives there but not him?

After a long moment Cody cleared his throat. "I, uh...guess we better get going," he murmured. "Do you guys...?"

"I'll sit this one out," Kevin muttered. _Since Gwen won't let me kill him in his sleep,_ he thought.

"And I'll—uh..."

Gwen hesitated; Cody searched her face, frowning slightly. Gwen forced a smile, pushing down her uncertainty. "I'll come," she said, falsely-cheerful. "Come on."

They headed for the chimney, not looking at each other. Kevin scowled and sat back in the sleigh, picking up a paddle-ball and half-heartedly trying to pass the time.

In all of the tense emotions, none of them realized one important thing: Cody had forgotten to use the Destirinator.

* * *

When Cody and Gwen materialized in the Stones' living room, the first sound they heard was a loud sob coming from the next room.

They both jumped, another strangled gasp escaping from Cody's throat. " _Get down!_ " he hissed, as the two ducked and crawled behind a futon.

Glancing around, the two soon found the source of the noise—an open pass-through to the kitchen. Sitting up as high as they dared they could just make out two figures sitting at the kitchen table. One was a man who looked enough like Duncan that for a wild moment Gwen wondered why her boyfriend had dyed his hair blond; it was only after a moment that she realized _this_ guy was several years older. The other figure was a woman, also blonde, with her head down on the table. She was the source of the sobbing sound.

"Come on, Ma...don't cry, okay? It'll be alright."

The woman half-lifted her head and sounded like she was about to say something, but all that came out was a sound between a hiccup and a gasp. Another woman about her age came into view now, carrying a tray of steaming cups. "Here, Emily...have some tea to calm your nerves. You too, Conrad."

"Thanks, Auntie Dorian."

It was a moment before the blonde woman raised her head again and, still sniffling, took a shaky sip of her drink. Then she began to dab at her eyes with a napkin. "It's just—this h-hasn't h-happened in more than a year. I thought—I thought we were _past_ this! And on Chr—Chris—"

She began crying again. Cody and Gwen's faces were screwed up in confusion when suddenly they heard the front door unlock. They quickly ducked down again and covered their heads, listening as the door open and two male voices entered the house, muttering. The residents of the kitchen stirred, chairs pushing back, as the two men passed by the chair and joined them, leaving the kitchen door open behind them.

"What happened? Where's—couldn't you...?"

There was a short silence. Cody and Gwen were both desperate to raise their heads again, but neither dared try. Finally one of the newcomers spoke.

"Sorry, Ma...the bailiff wouldn't let us take him home this time."

Instantly the blonde woman started crying again. "Why not?" Auntie Dorian asked, speaking louder over the sobs.

The second newcomer answered; he sounded bitter. "Duncan has a reputation for skipping court appointments." (Gwen's stomach tightened as Cody's eyes went wide.) "And he's eighteen now, so the rules are tighter. The least he could have done was commit another felony _before_ his birthday..."

" _Dad._ " Conrad's voice was tense as Duncan's mother began to cry harder.

"I don't understand this," Auntie Dorian said, sounding irritable. "Are they sure they even have the right man? I mean, Duncan still has, what, twenty thousand dollars in the bank from that TV show? Why would he even need to rob anybody anymore—"

"That has nothing to do with it, Dorian!" the second man suddenly erupted, making Gwen and Cody both flinch. "That boy will do anything, _anything,_ if he knows he's not supposed to! Always has, always will!"

" _Dad!_ Can't you see you're upsetting Ma? !"

"No, _Duncan's_ upsetting Ma. Dad's just stating the obvious."

"Brad, shut up!"

"Now, let's _all_ calm down! The kids are _hopefully_ asleep upstairs," Aunt Dorian said. "Are you sure there's nothing you can do? It's Christmas! It's not like Duncan— _killed_ anybody or something, surely the bailiff—"

"Aunt Dorian, there's really nothing..."

"Well, did you see him? Are you sure he's alright?"

"He didn't want to see us."

"What? ! Why not?"

" _Ha!_ Aunt Dorian, didn't you see the way Duncan stormed out of here? That's how he always acts when he's mad, he just blows everybody off and goes breaking and entering..."

Duncan's mother gulped, then said, in a teary voice, "We—W-We'll go see him in the m-morning, though. W-We'll take him his presents..."

"Oh great, just what I wanted—to spend _another_ Christmas visiting my son in _jail!_ "

" _Dad!_ "

Duncan's mom started crying louder again; his father sighed and, in a softer voice said, "Come on, Emily, let's get to bed...don't worry, we'll work things out in the morning..."

"Yes, yes, let's all get some sleep...things always look brighter after a good night's rest."

"...Does this mean I get Duncan's bed?"

" _Brad!_ "

Cody and Gwen heard the group trudge upstairs, Mrs. Stone still sobbing softly. Then they heard the sounds of footsteps over their heads, and then, after several minutes, silence.

The two slowly turned to each other, both of them shaking slightly. Gwen looked like she was about to cry too. Cody's eyes were soft; he opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, looking awkwardly away.

They slowly came out of their hiding place and set out the presents, for all the Stones but one, in silence. Cody found the cookies and milk that Duncan's niece and nephew had left out and threw them, untouched, into the trash.


	5. Underneath the Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody and Gwen are still dealing with the awkwardness of Duncan's house when they arrive somewhere a lot more festive.

**_(Somewhere in central Alberta)_ **

Things were tense when Cody and Gwen returned to the sleigh. Kevin noticed his sister's bad mood immediately; he asked what had happened, had something gone wrong, had they seen Duncan, only to get terse, one-word replies from Cody. Gwen didn't say anything without a lot of pushing, and even then she was equally monosyllabic. She wasn't going with Cody on any more deliveries, either; at first Kevin stayed with her, trying to find out more, but she wasn't budging.

"Just leave me alone," Gwen grumbled in a cracking voice, turning around to look away from him. "I don't want to talk about it."

Kevin growled quietly, and at the next house opted to go with Cody, leaving Gwen alone; he spent the whole delivery grilling Cody, who only looked awkward as he wordlessly placed presents under the tree. Kevin threw up his hands and gave up; at the next house he stayed in the sleigh with Gwen, neither looking at each other, as he stewed in anger at her, Cody and especially Duncan, knowing that somehow he was to blame for whatever had happened. There was no longer much talking or singing as they flew from house to house.

Cody deposited presents for Harold and his siblings under the McGrady Hanukkah bush, then some more at Ezekiel's farm, before flying north to a ski lodge in the Northwest Territories where Lindsay was staying with her family. He sighed wearily; no help putting the gifts out, no Christmas joy back on the sleigh...he was tempted to drop another heavy present on purpose; drafting Lindsay into the job would at least assure some cheerful company.

After what felt like a few more hours (Cody was wondering more and more about the time issue; "a few hours" somehow felt equally applicable to each province and the journey as a whole) Cody stared down at his list for the millionth-ish time. He paused for a moment, then stole a glance at the back of the sleigh. Neither Gwen nor Kevin was moving. He bit his lip, then stepped out onto the roof, walking around and tapping Gwen gently on the shoulder.

"Gwen. _Gwen._ "

She looked up, blinking rapidly; she had either been asleep or close to it. There was less of a question about Kevin, who was snoring softly.

"Wha—Cody? _Ugh._ That sleigh thing is really still happening, isn't it?" she muttered, stretching out her sore legs and wincing.

"Heh...yeah. Anyway...I know you haven't really felt up to helping me since...you know, Duncan..." Gwen's face took on a gloomy look as she glanced away. "...but remember back at Leshawna's house, how much you said you liked doing deliveries for friends?"

" _Ugh..._ yeah?"

"I think we're at Bridgette's place. Do you wanna come help me out?"

He tried not to look too hopeful as Gwen considered. She cast a quick glance at him, then looked away again, unsure.

"...Alright."

Cody blinked, then broke into a surprised grin, then quickly tried to suppress it. "Okay. Cool," he said with forced nonchalance. He had learned over the years (albeit slowly) that Gwen couldn't be pushed into anything, be it dating him or a simple smile; it was better to work slowly if he didn't want to accidentally snap her right back into misery.

* * *

Gwen seemed to perk up a little as they set out Bridgette's stuff. Cody purposely tried to prod her into a happier mood—he got her to guess about what a few of the presents might be, and made an elaborate show of thinking that an obvious surfboard must be an ironing board instead. It didn't quite merit the laughing fit he had been hoping for, but he did get an indulgent eye-roll at least. That was something.

Gwen agreed to accompany Cody into the next couple of homes after Bridgette's; they didn't talk much, but Cody got the feeling that he was at least distracting her from thinking too much about Duncan. Not too long after Bridgette's place they came to Trent's house, and then Geoff's. Cody kept prodding her with jokes, shared an anecdote or two, trying for a reaction; she smiled wanly, but still seemed a little off.

"Hey, why don't you sit up here with me?" Cody asked suddenly, as Gwen was about to climb back into her usual place at the back of the sleigh. She quirked an eyebrow; Cody grinned nervously and patted the space beside him. "There's plenty of room. And I bet it's nicer than be jostled around with all those bags."

"...Alright. But you better not just be expected me to cuddle up next to you for warmth or something."

"Ha! Please, Gwen! That's hardly my _only_ reason."

He actually got a tiny laugh out of that one. Or maybe she was coughing from the cold, it was sort of hard to tell.

They passed through the Queen Charlotte Islands and flew around the very westernmost parts of the Yukon, where the towns were few and far between. They had a lot of time to talk between houses, but unfortunately, neither of them was saying much. Cody had been hoping that the new seating arrangement would have made it easier for them to start chatting again; instead, he realized that it just made things more awkward.

He coughed nervously, turning to look at her. "So...Gwen."

"Yeah?"

"I'm, uh..." He coughed again. "...sorry. You know..." He looked forward again, watching Prancer dash through the air. "...about Duncan and all."

There was a pause. "Yeah. Me, too." Another pause. "You know, we...never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing. We just...sort of had a fight, a few days ago."

Cody looked toward her again, startled. "A fight?"

"Yeah. I mean—not a big one," Gwen said; she was already regretting bringing this up, but she felt the need to share her problems with _somebody_ , and at the moment Cody was the only one available. "But...well, he was supposed to come over to our house for Christmas, but that didn't pan out. And I guess he won't be around for a while, now," she added bitterly.

"Oh." Another, longer silence stretched between them, during which Cody looked away, looked back at her, then looked away again. " _Ahem..._ so...does that mean you guys are...b-breaking up, then?"

It was Gwen's turn to be startled. Cody didn't dare look at her, but he felt her eyes bore into the side of his head. "I don't know yet," she said, her voice barely a growl. Cody couldn't tell if the anger in her voice was for him, Duncan or both. He quickly began to stutter something (even he wasn't sure what), but she cut him off. "You know what, Cody? I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

He shut his mouth tightly, then swallowed. "Okay. Sorry."

Cody kicked himself mentally, staring out again at the snowy horizon. He felt bitter all of a sudden, though he wasn't sure if it was at himself or Gwen. After all, there was no need for her to snap at him, it wasn't like he had actually asked her out on a date…even if that thought _had_ been in the back of his mind. But he wasn't going to do it. Gwen and Duncan were still together, and unlike _some_ annoying mohawked man-whores with bad attitudes and freakishly pointed chins, Cody didn't condone cheating. Or hitting on somebody while they were still on the rebound.

Though then again, maybe that was part of his problem…he had put off approaching Gwen after her break-up with Trent, and once the show sent them home, hadn't really gotten a chance to ask her out in person until the third season began. Sometimes he wondered if he had simply waited too long—if he had tried sooner, maybe he could have had a chance with her before _Duncan_ had to come into the scene and ruin everything for everyone.

Several minutes passed before Gwen sighed, looking around at the ground. "Is it just me, or has it been a while since we hit a hou— _whoa!_ " She jumped a little in her seat as the ground below them suddenly gave way to frigid water.

"Huh..." Cody said, scratching his chin. "We're headed north...I'd thought we'd already done all of the Queen Elizabeth Islands...hey, are we going faster?"

As if on cue Prancer reared back his head and let out a cry, and suddenly a strong sea breeze made the sleigh jump.

" _Agh!_ " Gwen cried, grabbing Cody on instinct as he pulled wildly at the reins. At the same moment Kevin awoke with a start in the back, his head having smashed against a stray Jack-in-the-Box.

"I'm up, I'm up!" he cried, looking around in confusion. His gaze fell ahead, where he saw his older sister hugging Cody tightly. His jaw dropped. " _Hey,_ what the he—"

There was another bump, and Kevin let out a cry as all three teens were momentarily jolted into the air and out of their seats. He ducked down, covering his head with a quilt. " _Oh,_ I'm gonna be sick again," he moaned, ten thousand houses' worth of half-digested cookies rising in his throat.

The wild ride continued for several minutes, before suddenly Cody pointed down at icebergs that were beginning to appear in the sea below them. Not long after there came floating white islands of snow, then stretches of white land—Cody's eyes widened as it began to occur to him what was happening, and by then Gwen had let out a cry and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly for his attention as she pointed ahead with her other.

"Is that—"

"It _is!_ " Kevin cried, eyes as wide as Cody's.

A castle. A giant castle rising out of the snowy expanse—not like the big stone fortresses Cody had seen in history books or _Dragon-Assassin,_ but a picturesque collection of bright towers like you'd see in a fairy tale, covered with frost that glistened in the light of a thousand white-and-colored Christmas lights. The palace bordered a forest of fully-decorated Christmas trees on one side and numerous cottages on another. As they flew closer Cody laughed out loud to see that the cottages were made of gingerbread and decorated with icing.

From the back of the sleigh Kevin tapped his shoulder. "Hey, sorry to ruin your run, but, uh, you might want to know that _we're about to crash, you moron!_ "

"Wha—" Cody looked up and noticed the sleigh heading straight toward pair of closed wooden shutters. He let out a yelp and began to pull on Prancer's reins. "Hey! Stop, stop, _stop!_ "

Prancer kept flying, but right before they were about to hit the shutters flew open, revealing a window large enough for the sleigh to pass through. Instantly there was bright light, warm air and the sounds of cheering, disorienting the three so much that it was hard to see as Prancer's hooves came aground on a long runway and began to slow, bringing them to a stop. The sudden loss of movement sent all three of the passengers forward, and Kevin's half-digested cookies flew out and onto the back of Cody's red suit. He let out a cry and jumped again as Kevin collapsed onto the floor of the sleigh, moaning again.

Gwen was the first to regain her senses, looking around the large chamber. The runway was on a sort of raised area, and down below she saw the cheering crowd made up of kids. Or at least, what looked like kids, except that Gwen knew what they really were—the weird outfits made up mostly of green, the curly shoes, those prominent, pointed ears...the last sliver of logic in her brain fought tooth and nail against the thought coming, but it was pretty obvious that they were—

" _Elves,_ " Kevin moaned, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. "I'm looking at _elves,_ aren't I?"

"Yeah, I think so."

" _Ugh._ "

"Well, well, Cody!" a booming voice called. "It took you long enough, didn't it?"

The three all jumped and turned as the speaker came forward. He was not an elf, but an older, white-bearded man, dressed in red pajamas with a collection of holiday quilts in his lap. He was in a wheelchair that looked like it was made of giant peppermint sticks, being pushed by a similarly aged and plump woman who wore a red dress with a white bonnet and apron. One of the man's legs was elevated, wrapped in a cast.

Gwen and Kevin's mouths fell open as Cody jumped down from the sleigh, removing his hat and wringing it in his hands. " _Agh!_ I'm sorry, did I take too long? I swear, I worked as fast as I could—that is, we could—uh, I sort of messed up a little, but—"

Suddenly the man laughed, reaching forward to give Cody a playful slap on the arm. " _HO HO!_ I'm just _kidding,_ m'boy, you made _excellent_ time—for a first flight, at least, _ho ho!_ And after all, technically you took _no_ time at all from outside of our magic. Ah, and your little helpers!" he added, throwing open his arms and turning in his seat to face Gwen and Kevin. "Did you all have as nice a time as I always do?" He gazed at them fondly, his blues twinkling so brightly that it was almost freakish.

"Um..."

"Ah, let me guess—a little tired, aren't you?" he said with a wink. " _Ho ho,_ don't I know the feeling! The memory's always better after a little nap—you kids should have a rest before we send you home, do you think?"

"And don't forget, _you_ need to have a rest, too," the old woman said sternly.

The man sighed. "Yes, yes, of course, my dear..."

She wheeled him a bit off to the side, where he waved his hands to the elf crowd that had been buzzing with excitement. "Settle down, everybody, settle down! Now, let me once again congratulate everyone on another job well done, pulling together despite some truly hard circumstances! Give yourselves a round of applause!"

The elves cheered, as Gwen and Kevin continued to stare on in astonishment. Kevin pointed to the old man with a shaking finger.

"That was…?"

"Yeah," Cody said.

"As in the _real…_?"

"Yup."

"And that woman was…?"

"I assume."

" _Ugh,_ I need a drink. I— _agh!_ "

Kevin reeled back, as a silver tray had suddenly appeared right in front of him, containing three steaming mugs. After a moment he noticed that the tray was being carried over the head of a rosy-cheeked male elf; even though Kevin was pretty short himself, the elf's head only came about level with his chest. A female elf stood beside him, smiling and darting eyes between each of them in turn.

"Merry Christmas! My name is Holly, and this is Mordechai. We're here to make sure you have a jolly stay at the North Pole. Hot cocoa?"

"Um, uh…thanks," Kevin said awkwardly, taking a mug from the tray. Mordechai immediately leaned towards Gwen and Cody, who took the others if only for uncertainty of what else to do. Cody took a sip of his, which made his eyes jump open as he gave a moan of pleasure. Gwen tasted hers a bit more reluctantly—it was _very_ good, richer and creamier than she had ever tasted before.

"You're welcome! Now, please follow me to your accommodations."

"What is this, Playa des Losers?" Gwen mumbled, as the two elves took off down a side hallway. The three looked at each other, casting a quick glance back at their host and his elfin audience before following.

It was a long walk, but there was no shortage of sights to occupy them: the palace seemed to be filled with immaculately polished wood, bright colors and Christmas decorations _everywhere—_ corridors lined with wreaths on both sides, doorframes surrounded by holly, a Christmas tree in every room they passed…finally they came to a stop in front of a pair of large, thick wooden doors which Mordechai opened with surprising ease. Inside was what looked like a luxury suite half as large as Gwen and Kevin's house with two huge, puffy beds against one wall, a large and crackling fireplace and antique chairs _._ And of course, it was decked to the nines with holiday decorations—green and red and gold everywhere, a Christmas tree displayed prominently, poinsettias, a tray of sprinkled cookies on the nearest tables, and _toys_ all around the walls, including a dollhouse almost as tall as Kevin. Cody and Gwen's eyes both widened at the sight of it all.

Kevin, however, immediately made a beeline for the nearest bed and collapsed onto his back. "Good, I've been hoping to take a nap somewhere where I won't have to wake up _screaming,_ " he grumbled. "Just tell me when the Tooth Fairy is ready to fly us home, okay?"

Holly blinked at him, then awkwardly turned back to Cody and Gwen. "You three can wait in here," she said. "Help yourselves to the refreshments, and if you need anything, please, just ring!" She pulled on a tasseled rope hanging beside the door, which emitted a merry jingling sound.

"Um…can do, I guess."

Holly turned to Cody, cocking her head apologetically. "Before we go, we'll be needing the suit back."

"The suit? _Oh!_ " Cody looked down at himself and chuckled nervously. "Heh, sorry—I'd forgot I was wearing it." He handed his hot chocolate to Mordechai and began to sheepishly remove the baggy outfit (almost tripping as he took off the pants, having forgotten to remove his Rudolph slippers first). Underneath the suit he was wearing a pair of green and red plaid pajamas; Gwen let out a scoff and quickly pursed her lips.

"Here you go…it's, uh, a little _dirty_ in the back."

Holly made a face as she accepted the suit, but forced a smile again. "Well, I'm sure Mrs. Claus can clean that up. Thank you!" She bowed deeply and the two elves exited, closing the door behind them.

Cody scratched his head and turned back to Gwen, whose face was still screwed up. He frowned. "Gwen?"

His friend let out a quick snort, froze, and then suddenly burst out into giggles, bending over and grabbing her stomach. Cody blinked. "Gwen? What—" She just laughed harder, now grabbing her knees to keep standing, and somehow Cody found himself chortling without even knowing why.

"Gwen! What— _snort—_ what i-is it?"

"It's just—your outfit!" Gwen gasped.

"What— _heh-heh-heh—_ what's wrong with my ou-outfit?"

"It's just— _ha-ha-ha—_ you look more Christmassy than when you had the suit on!" Gwen's giggling gave forth to laughter so raucous that she was surprised Kevin didn't stir from his sleep. "You look like you're wearing this room!"

"I don't— _ha-ha—_ I don't get what you're— _pffft!—_ talking about!"

Gwen collapsed onto her knees as Cody stumbled into the nearest chair, shaking as he tried to suppress his laughter and examine his outfit. Neither could stop laughing. The rational part of Gwen's brain knew that she was acting crazy—they were just normal pajamas, after all, heck, they were one of the most _normal_ thing that she had seen all night—but all of a sudden she _felt_ crazy, almost like she was drunk, really, and the surrealism of this whole situation was collapsing in on her all at once. It was tiredness, she realized— _insane_ tiredness, the kind she hadn't felt since the challenge in _Total Drama_ 's first season when she had had to stay up for full days at a time. When had she last slept, anyway? Delivering all those gifts had taken hours in real time, heck, maybe more than a full _day_ if you added it all together, and before _that_ she hadn't even slept since the night before Christmas Eve…

It took close to three full minutes before Gwen and Cody had both completely stopped laughing, by which point they were gasping for breath, struggling to sit up straight and keep their eyes open. Gwen moved some hair out from her face. "S—Sorry," she panted, climbing shakily back to her feet. "I'm—not sure what came over me…"

"It's—fine," Cody said, waving her away and grinning at her. "It's sort of nice—to hear you laugh again."

"Uh…thanks." She felt slightly awkward at that—she wasn't sure if he was trying to flirt with her or not, but she was surprised to realize that if he was then it was the first time all night. She cast a nervous look at his face—his blue eyes were bright, his smile slightly crooked but still sunny. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, then looked away.

"So, uh…maybe Kevin had the right idea about turning it," he suggested, rising to his feet. "I mean, I don't know when they're coming back for us, but, uh, a little shut-eye couldn't hurt…"

"Ye _aaauuugh,_ " Gwen yawned, stretching her arms as she followed him across the room. "I'm so tired I could sleep for a year."

Cody jumped on the remaining bed (which was quite soft and bouncy), kicking off his Rudolph slippers and closing his eyes with a smile of contentment. Gwen, however, froze in place—there were only two beds, and Kevin had collapsed onto his sideways, arms sprawled out in a way that left little room for another. "Um…"

Cody opened his eyes, taking a minute to realize the problem. "Oh— _oh!_ Um—heh-heh." His face turned slightly pink—two different suggestions had suddenly sprang into his head, and somehow the chivalrous one won out. "Here—you take this bed, and I'll—"

"Just—sit down," Gwen said, as Cody had already started to rise from his seat. To his shock she lay down on the bed next to him, though with a reasonable space between them, laying her head down on the pillow. "But don't read too much into this," she warned, not opening her eyes. "You're lucky I never killed you over that _picture_ in Jamaica."

Cody cleared his throat awkwardly. "Wouldn't dream of it," he said (though the "dreaming" part, of course, was a pretty blatant lie). He lay back down, adjusting his position to keep a respectfully large but still enjoyably small distance between them. He crossed his arms for warmth—unlike Gwen and Kevin he didn't have a heavy jacket on over his pajamas, but the warmth from the fireplace somehow seemed to extend into every corner of the large suite. His smile fell after a minute as instead of sleep, his weary mind began to wander over the strange events of the night.

It was the news of Duncan's arrest, however, that took up most of his attention. _I wonder if Gwen will break up with him over this,_ he wondered. _I mean, this has to finally make her realize what kind of sleaze-ball he is…_ He glanced over at her placid face. _…But then, even if she does, that doesn't mean that she'll be interested in me. Though we_ are _technically sleeping together,_ he added with a sudden grin. _That's gotta be worth something, right?_

He gave a weary sigh, staring up at the ceiling. Then he blinked, sitting up again. "Uh…Gwen?"

" _What?_ " she mumbled sleepily.

"I think we're laying under mistletoe."

Gwen rubbed her eyes and sat up, glancing at the little plant suspended a few feet above their heads. Her mouth hung open for a minute, then snapped shut as she looked annoyed. "Why would anyone put that there?" she grumbled.

"I don't know. Maybe we got the honeymoon suite by mistake?"

Gwen swatted Cody's shoulder, then noticed the hopeful, nervous smile on his face. She rolled her eyes. "Well, you've shown me an interesting time, if nothing else…"

Cody's smile widened as Gwen bent down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. As she did so there was a sudden flash, and they both jumped and spun around to see Holly standing a few feet away from them, peeking out from behind a camera.

" _Huh?_ What the hell…"

"Heh-heh…sorry, it's just…I've been a big fan of you two since TDI," she said, rolling her eyes up playfully. "Anyway, sorry to bother you. Merry Christmas!"

There was another flash, this one sparkling green, and she and the camera were gone. Gwen facepalmed and fell back onto the bed as Cody quirked one eye, silently wondering if there was any way to get a copy of that picture for himself.


	6. Not Only in My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes back to normal, more or less.

**_(A small town near Toronto, Ontario...again)_ **

_Knock-knock-knock._ "Gwen? Gwen, honey? Are you awake?"

" _Ugh..._ " Gwen poked her head out from under her comforter, blinking blearily. " _Mom?_ "

Gwen's mother gave an airy laugh from her doorway. " _You're_ asleep too? Ha, I can't believe it—this must be the first time that you and Kevin slept in on Christmas morning! Usually you two are up before dawn."

"Wha...Christmas? Christmas morning?"

"That's right! Merry Christmas! But it's almost Christmas _afternoon_ —well, it's after 10, anyway. Off to a late start this year, aren't we? Now come on, get up! Santa left lots of presents for you to open!" Gwen's mother honestly sounded more excited about it than Gwen did.

"Okay, Mom." Gwen sat up, letting her covers fall off as she stretched her arms. Her mother frowned.

"Oh, gee—it must have been really cold last night, wasn't it?"

"Hmm?" Gwen was still only half-awake, wiping hair out of her face. "Whuddya mean?"

"Your jacket! Kevin wore his to bed last night, too. Anyway, hurry up! I'm sure your brother is already going crazy pawing through everything."

She pulled her head out and closed the door, not noticing the way that her daughter was staring down at herself with wide eyes. Gwen _had_ been wearing her jacket to bed, but as she glanced at it now, she saw that it wasn't hers—it was the same color, a very similar style, but a little different, heavier, less worn. Now fully awake, Gwen quickly jumped out of bed and crossed the room to her closet, throwing open the door to confirm that her usual jacket was, indeed, hanging up right where she had left it. She took a shaky step back, looking back down at her new jacket in confusion.

As she examined it memories started to return to her, of a bag, a sleigh, an endless supply of clothes with her and Kevin's names on them...Cody in a red suit...

"No way..."

" _Gwen! Hurry up, dear!_ "

" _Agh!_ Um—just a second, Mom!"

Gwen shrugged the new jacket off onto the floor and ran out of her room, passing through the hallway into the den. Immediately her eyes were drawn to the Christmas tree, and the gifts—a huge collection of them—sprawling beneath it and taking up a huge part of the room. The arrangement looked almost familiar...but no, she decided, that was dumb. An arrangement of packages was an arrangement of packages, and besides, she didn't think that there had been quite this many in her dream. Because it obviously _was_ just a dream, she thought, as her eyes drifted around in search of the sack that Cody had left behind.

Gwen could hear her mother in the kitchen, probably making coffee, while Kevin sat on the sofa with a wrapped package in his lap. He jumped as Gwen entered the room, then smiled awkwardly. "Good morning, Gwen. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Gwen said distractedly, looking around the room for...something. She didn't know what—anything, really, that might have been a clue. She finally turned to Kevin, giving him an equally forced smile. "Um...how are you feeling?"

"Fine, fine," he said hastily; he was looking at his package again, only glancing at Gwen out of the corner of his eye. "You?"

"Good. Except I had a... _weird_ dream last night." She barely breathed, watching him for a reaction.

He turned to her slowly, looking as apprehensive as she felt. "...Oh. Really? Uh...about what?"

"Um..."

They both looked at each other in silence for a long moment, each afraid the other would call them crazy if they spoke, and each realizing that the other _acting_ crazy more or less confirmed their suspicions. The moment was broken, however, when their mother poked her head into the room, covering the phone with her hand. "Gwen?"

She jumped, spinning around. "Yeah? !"

"Ooh, calm down! Ha-ha. It's that boy—"

"You mean Duncan?"

"No, no—though I'm sure he'll call later," she added; Gwen had not mentioned their fight to her, but she had figured out that something had obviously happened between them. "It's that friend of yours—Cody, I think?"

"Cody?" Gwen's eyes had widened again, and Kevin had blanched. Feeling her heart pounding in her chest, Gwen took the phone and quietly slipped back into the hall, as her mother turned to Kevin and spoke out of the side of her mouth.

"Cody's the sweet one from the show, right?"

"If you mean the one who has Gwen's bra framed in his bedroom, then yeah."

"Hmm." Gwen's mother frowned slightly, disappearing back into the kitchen as she tried to remember the name of that one handsome boy who played the guitar.

Over in the hallway, Gwen took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Oh, Gwen! Hey. Um—merry Christmas!"

"Hey. Merry Christmas." There was awkward silence for a few seconds, so Gwen asked "How have you been?"

"Oh, good, good! Heh. _Ahem—_ so. Did you, uh, get anything...interesting...this year?"

"Um...I'm not sure. My brother and I actually just woke up, none of us have really opened our presents or anything."

"Oh," Cody said, for the third time in as many statements. "Have you, uh...looked in your stocking, at least?"

"My stocking? ...Why?"

"Well I, uh...you see..." Cody floundered with his words for a moment. "I had this... _dream_ last night" Gwen's heart skipped a beat "and, uh...just look inside your stocking, okay? Heh, I just want to make sure that what I'm looking at is real," he added, sounding embarrassed or apologetic.

Gwen dropped the phone from her ear and slowly made her way into the living room; the stockings had already been taken down and left on the couch next to Kevin, who curiously watched Gwen take hers without saying a word. Gwen sped up, slipping into her room and dumping the stocking's contents on her bed. There was some candy, a toothbrush, a few paint brushes, a green envelope—

Gwen paused, picking up the latter. She put the phone back to her ear. "Are you talking about a green envelope by any chance?"

" _Yes!_ Well...I got a red one, but that's probably the same thing. Open it!"

"Okay, geez, calm down..." Gwen said, despite the insane curiosity that was building within her. With shaking hands she ripped the envelope open, carefully removing the Christmas card inside. Her eyes widened when she saw it.

"Oh my gosh..."

The front of the card showed a familiar room, with a familiar bed, with Gwen leaning down to give Cody a kiss on the cheek. For a moment Gwen couldn't even speak—she opened the card, so shocked that she could barely read the message— _Thanks again for all your help! Merry Christmas. Signed, Santa and Mrs. Claus..._

"...You got the same card that I did, didn't you?" Cody asked in her ear.

Gwen nodded, then, remembering that he couldn't see her, managed to sputter "Yeah. That—That really happened, didn't it?"

"I—guess so."

Gwen's head started to swim—she thought about everything, the rooftops, the sleigh, the flights all over the country, the houses...she thought about Leshawna and Bridgette and everyone right now opening the presents that _she_ had helped leave them...and (her stomach clenched) Duncan in jail, his family trudging out to visit him...

" _Gwen! Hurry up, honey!_ "

Gwen shook her head, staring down at the card again—she closed it and examined the image of herself, looking slightly exasperated, and Cody with a ridiculous little gap-toothed grin on his face. She realized with a start that the presents her mom was calling for her to open were left by _him_ of all people—not her mom, not even Santa, but _Cody._ Somehow, that seemed more surreal than anything, but the corners of her mouth tugged a bit at the thought, and the image of him in his Santa suit in house after house after house.

"Um—Cody? My mom's calling me, so I gotta go. I'll call you back later, okay?"

"Uh—okay. And, um—thanks. For last night. You know...helping me and everything."

Gwen's lips tugged a bit more. "You're welcome. And merry Christmas, Cody."

Cody couldn't help but chuckle, somehow. "Merry Christmas, Gwen."


End file.
